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Greeks add Dumpster Diving to 2020 Olympic Games Viewed 121,764 timesBy: Darr Moon
Published for Challis, Idaho (Area-Info.net Feb. 18, 2012)
The Greek Olympic Committee, after fear of growing international isolation (from uppity lending counties who haven’t been paid since 2011), has suggested a few new games for consideration at the 2020 Olympic Games to be held in Rome. The Greek Committee suggested that the standard fair of physical competition should be upgraded to include real life sports where strategy plays a more important element. New sports suggested include the Dumpster Dive, a fast paced in and out competition where emaciated athletes scramble for left over dinner entrées and bits and pieces of cloth and cardboard. Other new games petitioned to be offered include a bit of a Western twist, “The Bums Rush”, a delightful competition involving the packing of a hobo sack while trying to catch a train to nowhere before it pulls out from the station. Sure to be a Greek favorite, and one that is growing in international enthusiasm, is the Molotov cocktail toss. Like the egg toss but with more immolations.
Oh those Greeks are so original, the Democracy thing, the creation of slave dependent civilization and who could forget the Trojan Horse strategy. These new lifestyle games are coming to the world arena during a time when the world is seeing benefits of sweeping social justice reforms and food distribution entitlements. The Italians too, being very concerned about the $12 billion dollar price tag for the 2020 games, see huge benefits in potential cost savings as most of the new games can be held within their existing Roman coliseum. The notion of spending so much money on new construction for such things as Olympic swimming pools and stadiums for track and field events is so old fashioned, leaving the Italian tax payers concerned about their future. But now, the new Olympic games format is leaving them counting their left over liras. Over five billion lira expected to be saved, equivalent to about fifty American.
Even the Americans are giving a nod of approval to the recently revised Olympic format. Noting the economic challenges upon us, American Olympic committee spokesman Carl Marx congratulated the Europeans with such progressive thinking. He further explained, “With all the stimulation money left over from the bail out of Goldman Sachs, President Fugarwe has graciously committed the tax savings to the International Olympic Committee and the 2020 games”. President Fugarwe could not be reached for comment making us wonder where he was hiding during the press briefing. Marx also noted, ”not to be out done by our cousins across the pond, we have assembled a task force to study the benefit of adding a few American style socially acceptable equal protection competitions to the growing list of socially sustainable games.” Marx went on to add that they would like to highlight the recently passed “Chicken in Every Pot” Constitutional Amendment. The Amendment guarantees all Americans rights never before imagined, a chicken in every pot and a window to throw out the bones. The yet unveiled, highly secretive strategy game involves the taking of everything you’ve got in your pockets for the security of having your own officially sanctioned Olympic pot complete with chicken. We’ve asked for further details but nothing has yet come forth except a few comments from Speaker of the House Goebbles. “The thing is, we don’t want the American people to know just what’s in the strategy game until we’ve voted for it.” I have heard from unofficial sources however, that there could be some portion of the game involving picking a chicken neck bone clean with ones teeth. Who knows at this point, it is comforting however to know that big brother is looking out for us in the international arena of Olympic competition.
Some ex-Occupy Wall Streeter’s were reportedly offering up a game that would require squatting on public property through the winter months in only a pup tent while passing STD’s to each other. No further details are known other than the project has been heavily endorsed by Media Matters, MSNBC, Public Television and Planned Parenthood. The somewhat unorthodox competition has received raves from many in the only stream media complex. On hearing the news, long time Russian comedian Yakov Smirnoff exclaimed “What a Country”. “You Americans, you’ve really got it made, Long Live the Democracy!”
Darr has a B.S. Geological Engineering from Univ. of Idaho, is a Professional Engineer and Land Surveyor, and Operates small family gold mine in Central Idaho.
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